Life as a Hyperbole

College Football Awards: Fight Songs and Music

2008-11-23T18:22:00.004-05:00

In honor of the upcoming rivalry weekends, conference championship games, and bowl games, I took it upon myself to search the nation over… or the teams I have watched on TV for the best/worst of college football. One of the things that makes a college football game great is music. Sure, there’s music that comes over the loudspeaker, but mostly from the “band geeks”. From the drum line, to the trombones, to the giant tubas there is something special about the songs and the unique way all the instruments blend as one harmonious sounds. Not to mention, there’s something about the band with a touchdown that makes you feel that much better when the home team scores.

So, without further adieu, here are the college football music awards *fanfare, fanfare*

1. Best Entrance Music

A good start can lead to an even better finish. Here, in rank order, are the best songs for a college football entrance

3. “2001 Space Odyssey” South Carolina Gamecocks

Not only did this fight song come from a great movie, the South Carolina band has a great tribute to the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra and the movie that it parallels. Plus, who wouldn’t get pumped up to a song like that? It’s a great tradition and it definitely deserves praise for one of the best entrance songs

2. “Battle Hymn of the Republic” Georgia Bulldogs

There is something about this song that I will never begin to understand. However, when the lone trumpet player stands in the southwest corner of Sanford Stadium, there is a glimmer in every Georgia fans eyes, goose bumps and hair on the back of people’s neck stand up, and this song charges up every single Georgia fan until they explode with excitement. The game I attended left me speechless, and I have never heard a stadium so loud in my life. Kudos, UGA, kudos.

1. “Enter Sandman” Virginia Tech Hokies

For anyone who has known me, I am very much against music that comes from a loudspeaker at a college football game. However, when I attended the ACC Championship Game last year in Jacksonville Florida. There were thousands of Virginia Tech fans literally starving for that song when they saw the Hokies in the entrance tunnel. When the loudspeaker turned on the song, “Enter Sandman” there has never been a time where I have seen a crowd go from excited, to downright insane. One of the best college football moments I have ever been a part of. Never, in my life, have i seen fans that are almost dependant to start a game as Hokie fans are. If you get a chance to see it live, you will not be disappointed.

2. “I get it, we’re a panther” award…

Comic great Jon Reep made an astute observation when he stated that the NFL team the Carolina Panthers play the “panther sound effect” far too often. So let me share the top 3 schools that play a certain fight song way too often…

3. “Tribute to Troy” USC Trojans

By itself, it’s a catchy song, and I am sure if I went to USC, maybe I would enjoy it. However, the Marching Trojans play this song to nausea as the Trojans march towards their 70^th point over weak Pac-10 teams.

2. “War Chant” Florida State Seminoles

Normally, this would be my #1 and it has been for some time. However, FSU fans, this chop can be done significantly less. I have been to 4 Florida State games in my life and I have heard the “War Chant” at least 100 times per game. It also becomes bad news when other schools mock “the chop” when Florida State loses, and why not? FSU has a great fight song, play that a few more times…

1. “Boomer Sooner” Oklahoma Sooner

I will give credit to the Sooners for a unbelievable win over Texas Tech, but if I heard a variation of that song one more time, I would have stabbed my eardrums, and even then, the ear piercing sounds that would have ensued would still be less painful then this fight song. Not only do they play the song when the Sooners score, they play variations on first downs, interceptions, and field goals to say the least. I have to figure the band hated playing the song by the time the game is over. Oklahoma, you have the most uninventive song selection of any band I have ever heard.

3. Most Overplayed Songs by different schools

You may have the trademark to this song, but other colleges are using it. It’s time for someone to put their foot down and make a stand to say, “This is our fight song dammit!” I will provide the song and whom it should belong to…

3. “Glory, Glory Hallelujah!” Belongs to: Georgia Bulldogs

A song that praises the word of Christ has been used for States and Universities in their band repertoire. It’s Georgia’s fight song, but Colorado uses it, various high schools use it, even Auburn uses it. It’s a good song (and very simple might I add) in it’s context, but it’s Georgia’s fight song, let’s keep it that way.

2. “Tiger Rag” Belongs to: Clemson Tigers

This may be just a problem of how many schools name their mascot the “Tigers” but with every school, they have to play the song, Tiger Rag… and I have about had it with that song. Clemson uses it as their main fight song, and they include a cool spelling of: C-L-E-M-S-O---N! at the end. It’s a good tradition, good song, but it needs to stay in South Carolina

1. “Kernkraft 400” Belongs to: Nobody

In a successful attempt to make Euro-chants trendy in the United States, Zombie Nation created the song “Kernkraft 400” that is about as well know as the “Olay Olay” chant. Nevertheless, It really shows how much American’s know about chants in premiere league soccer in Europe. Colleges around the country use this song before games and kickoffs, and unfortunately, I bleed from the ears every time I hear it. This song should be stricken from the records and should never be played in another college stadium, ever… again…

4. Worst Fight Songs

A fight song should be exciting, should bring adrenaline to the fans, and should be a song of celebration (not to mention easy to remember). However these songs put shame to all that is good about fight songs

3. “Hail to the Victors” Michigan Wolverines

Before all the Buckeye fans cheer and laugh at this ranking, don’t be too proud, your fight song was a close #4. Besides the overwhelming tradition that Michigan has, I wish their fight song would do the same, and let’s put the irony that Michigan has won 3 games all season aside. This fight song is bland, cliché, and just downright boring. Besides Michigan, nobody gets excited about this fight song. Sorry Michigan, even I am not cutting you a break this year.

2. “The Waving Song” Oklahoma State Cowboys

There is something that really bothers me about this song selection by Okie State. Now, I believe that “Ride ‘em Cowboys” is the official fight song of Oklahoma State. If that is the case, then why in the world do the Cowboys play the “Waving Song” after a touchdown? It is the pokiest, Busch league, state fair song I have ever heard in a college stadium. It literally sounds like drunken cowboy music from a Loony Tunes episode. You’re a great team, with a great coach, and have a good fight song, stop playing this state fair song after touchdowns, cowboys!

1. “The Good Ole’ Song” Virginia Cavaliers

If you think I am biased, let me give you an example of how boring this fight song is. When I attended Appalachian State, a couple of my friends and I played NCAA Football 2008. My friend decided to be Virginia for a season and quit 3 games in because he could not stomach the fight song. So picture this, after Virginia scores a touchdown, the Virginia faithful puts their arms around each other, swings to and fro, and sings the “Good Ole’ Song” which is identical to that holiday classic “Olde Lang Syne”. If there is a more boring song on the face of this earth that is featured on a college field, I want to hear this song. However, UVA is filled with a bunch of bright kids, I believed they figured out that, “Maybe if we make the students fall asleep with our fight song, they wont have to watch the rest of the UVA v. USC game.” Lord knows, no one wants to be awake for “Tribute to Troy” anyway. Brilliantly done, UVA.

5. Best Fight Songs

Now, to show that I am unbiased, I am leaving the Alabama fight song out of the running for best fight song (even though it is the best). In fact, I have taken out all fan biases to make this list. This is based on the fight song, and the fight song only. So here is the cream of the crop… according to me…

3. “NCSU Fight Song” NC State Wolfpack

Not exactly the most inventive name or most original song. However, NC State took the song “Army Goes Rolling Along” and sped the tempo up. It’s hard to sing, but its very exciting, it matches the feeling of how a touchdown should feel, and isn’t that the point of a fight song. Now, I am fan of military songs in general, but this method was well done and it’s something I can celebrate to.

2. “Rocky Top” Tennessee Volunteers

Remember when I said that this was based on “just the fight song”, well here is the example. Now, I hate Tennessee, I hate the town, I hate the stadium, I hate (most of) the fans, and I hate that shade of orange. However, when the Tennessee band plays the famous bluegrass song, it literally projects through the stadium and your home whether you want it to or not. Now, Tennessee fans will force you to listen to this song and it’s painfully annoying. However, take this song with any other university, and it’s a classic.

1. “Texas Fight” Texas Longhorns

Now, aside from the worst band uniforms in college football (which look like a cowboy costume I wore when I was 5) this is the most complete fight song I have heard. Fast tempo, chanting, easy lyrics, and people can use profanity if they want to in this song. Colonel Walter S. Hunnicutt had something on the ball when he wrote this. This is something you have to hear for yourself. However UT, do us all a favor, try shifting those talents to the person who makes the band uniforms, “band geeks” don’t need anymore hassle (though, chaps are a good look for cheerleaders).

Excessive Celebration: The Death of Fun

2008-11-11T11:03:00.000-05:00

There is nothing quite like a college football game. The smell of the grill, the noise of the crowd, and the overwhelming sensation when the team we watch wins a big game. It’s an adrenaline rush for the fans and for the players playing the game. Or at least it was…

We have witnessed, over the past ten years, a penalty that is ruining the fun of college football, and that is the excessive celebration penalty. That’s right, if you mock the crowd or jump for joy too much, you cost your team 15 penalty yards assessed on your next kickoff or on the extra point attempt. In theory, this could be a penalty to stop the inevitable Chad Johnson type circus show after a touchdown. However the NCAA has taken this penalty way too far: it’s inconsistent and it has cost some teams to lose a game due to a celebration after an emotional touchdown.

First and foremost, where do we draw the line with this type of penalty? Three players went to Tiger Stadium at Louisiana State University and made the same gesture after their respective touchdown. Heisman trophy winner Tim Tebow of Florida dialed his fake phone taunting the LSU crowd, no flag. Superstar running back, Knowshon Moreno of Georgia dialed his fake phone taunting the same crowd, no flag. So why is it that senior quarterback, John Parker Wilson of Alabama gets 15 yards of unsportsmanlike conduct for the exact same gesture as the last two players. There has to be a standard, and if referees assess the penalty one time, then they need to keep doing it.

Let’s not forget that this penalty has cost a few teams the game. In 2005 unranked Vanderbilt faced the thirteenth ranked Florida Gators. In an emotional game that saw a remarkable comeback in the fourth quarter by Vanderbilt to make the game 34-35 with 54 seconds remaining, Vanderbilt decided to go for the gutsy call as head coach Bobby Johnson held his fingers to say, let’s go for two and the win. However, put those fingers down, Vanderbilt was charged with excessive celebration. How does one celebrate excessively when you tie the thirteenth ranked team in the country? As a result, Vanderbilt kicked a field goal and eventually lost that game in overtime. It was a game that led people to ask, why didn’t Vanderbilt have that shot to go for two?

More recently, unranked, and still winless Washington scored a late touchdown against fifth teen ranked Brigham Young with two seconds left to put the Huskies within one. It was an emotional score at home to possibly upset a great BYU team. Hold your horses though, here comes that hankie falling to the field. Once again Washington was charged with excessive celebration. ESPN analysts couldn’t see it, the announcers couldn’t see it, and as a result BYU blocked the extra point that was knocked back 15 yards. Another excellent call by the officials to further ruin another game.

Though the highlight of the century, in my mind, with relation to this penalty had to have been last years, Florida vs. Georgia game. Florida had Georgia’s number for many years, and it was to be another tight game. It wasn’t until Georgia came close to the goal line that Knowshon Moreno stretched for the end zone and scored. Mark Richt told his team that they had better get an excessive celebration penalty. The result was the entire Georgia team rushing the field and dancing into the end zone. It sent the players and the fans into a frenzy and the Bulldogs beat the Gators in an emotional win. The action by Richt was criticized by the media (and Florida fans) and was seen as a sign of disrespect. However, in the grand scheme of things, it was a middle finger to the NCAA for penalizing teams for celebrating. The idea that we had better get a penalty made a team run through walls for coach Richt and it was a brilliant move.

Where does it end though? Do all teams have to run back to the sidelines like robots after an emotional touchdown? Can we raise our hands in the air? Can we high five? One game is enough damage; let’s stop the madness once and for all. Players aren’t sliding down the goalpost, giving the football CPR, or playing putt-putt with the pile-on. I believe it was Tom Landry that said, when you score a touchdown, act like you’ve been there before, and I agree. However, when we are penalizing teams for enjoying the game, it’s become an absurd suggestion. If we are going to penalize players, let’s penalize Les Miles for his overexcitement when LSU scores. Why not?

All in all, I am going to miss moments when players tackle their own defensive linemen after a touchdown when the “big man” rumbles for six. Or when a player catches a Hail Mary pass at the end of the game and the entire bench erupts. Football is an exciting and expressive game; players and fans alike should be able to be allowed to go nuts about the game that they love. However, despite the criticisms by the media and fans to get rid of this penalty, the NCAA probably never will. We want to tell the officials to keep that yellow flag in their pocket and let the boys play, but they never will…

And thus, will be the death of fun in college football… and this was the eulogy. Rest in Peace.

Billy's beginning...

2008-10-06T18:12:00.003-04:00

Note: If you are confused by this post, look at the post, "Coming soon, to a blog near you..."

A long time ago, in the plains of Auburn, Alabama. Lived a young man named Jim-Bob Skeeter. Jim-Bob lived a normal life in Auburn. He plowed his fields, milked the cows, had late night dates with his sheep, and had long walks on the manure filled fields of his farm. Jim-Bob was a happy man, he was the first graduate of Auburn University with a Masters in coloring. He was a well respected man for his achievements, however, his ordinary life was about to change.

As Jim-Bob was plowing the field he noticed a bird flying through the sky with nobility and grace. Jim-Bob immediately grabbed his shotgun and shouted, "It's comin' right fur us!" As he unloaded rounds from his 12 gauge, he finally made contact with the bird. This scene was comparable to Bambi's mother dying... it was very sad, trust me. As the dear eagle spun out into the ground, Jim-Bob walked with confidence as he thought, "Shit yeah, I dun got me some deener". However, he was about to discover something unexpected...

The eagle that was shot, was pregnant...

"SWEET", Jim-Bob said, "I dun got room for deesert now"

Though as Jim-Bob looked at the baby bird, he had a compassion and love for the bird. The bird turned and said...

"Ugh, where am I?" (Yea, I know, talking bird...)

"You're in Auburn, son" Jim-Bob explained

The bird was confused, and could not establish many things that were going on. It was then that he realized that half of his brain had been shot off. Suddenly, despite the rancid smell, the hot weather, and boring scenery, Auburn suddenly seemed like a great place, although he didn't understand why.

"Young feller, you need a name: I will call you, Billy... after the great Billy Jean Thorton."

The eagle didn't know who that was, but it seemed fitting at the time. So there Billy lived, day-by-day on the farm. He helped out as much as he could with Jim-Bob's work. Jim-Bob spoke all day of the joy and wonders of Auburn, and due to the fact that Billy had half of his brain gone, he responded and believed what Jim-Bob told him.

One day, Billy decided to help get a hoe for Jim-Bob (the garden tool, people). As he stepped into the barn, he was shocked in awe. It was one of the most amazing things he had ever seen and it would change his life forever...

Find out what that is in the next episode of: Billy the War Eagle!

Set forth for a journey in the sky!

Watch him soar through the clouds so high!

Soar Billy, The War Eagle!

Soar Billy, the War Eagle!

Hurry, Billy, the time is come!

You must help before it's too late,

Thanks to you, dear old Billy

Drunken Auburn fans can finally Celebrate!

For you old Billy...

John Nash Lesson #3: Stop Pushing Political agenda on the rest of us. You're not persuasive, you're a douche

2008-10-06T14:28:00.003-04:00

John Nash Lesson #3: Stop Pushing Political Agenda on the rest of us. You're not persuasive, you're a douche

I didn't want to do it now. I wanted to explain other helpful methods to make our lives better. However, I just cannot take it anymore. Let me begin this John Nash by introducing a story...

I was sitting at a bonfire the other night, and amongst many heated debates, which is great, but there became the discussion about the election. I didn't have my iPod with me, so unfortunately, I had to listen to the Palin haters. At one instance someone stated, "I just can't see any rationale behind voting for McCain". Others agreed and then asked me who I was voting for, like I didn't know the correct answer to this question...

I am all about politics, but the question, "Who are you voting for" has become the worst "true-false" question in the world. There is simply no right answer. Sure, I could apply methods of group-think and said that I am voting for Obama. Well is there individuality in that? Do I really support Obama? So what if I said, "I am voting for McCain"? I guarantee you I would be bombarded with misleading statements and questions undermining my decision and the person who I was voting for. Well, screw that, I don't like confrontation about this issue. So what if I said, "I am not voting".

Oh then I would have just opened up Pandora's box with that loaded statement. "You have to vote, it's an american right." or "Don't you know what your doing to the world by not voting"? Yes, but the main thing is this... pay attention... People (with one exception) want people to vote for the candidate that they want. They have no interest in you actually voting as a right, they just want you to vote for their candidate. If I would have said, "I am voting for McCain" then I would have been swarmed with condescending questions and comments. That, my friends, is your proof. If you are not voting for their candidate, people around you could care less about voting.

My colleague and good friend of mine, Alex Bea may have saved my vote this year. In all actuality, I vote on principle. I don't care what dumb thing a candidate said, I don't care about race, or sex, or age, it's irrelevant. I am voting because I want my values to be upheld by the person in office. Now, Alex made an excellent comment about how we do not have a complaint if we do not cast a vote. Which is true, if i complain about the president, and I don't vote, I have no voice. However, the difference in Alex vs. about 98% of the population is that I have never seen eye-to-eye with my colleague. However, he has never attacked my values, never said my reasoning was dumb, and never questioned who I voted for. He has been up for debate and was open-ended about the choice I made. That is a real relief

Heaven forbid you say, "I am unsure who I'm voting for". Then the political nazi's will parachute from the skies with pamphlets and buttons, and then explain how great their candidate is. You know what? Get that out of our face, If someone wants to vote and is receptive to your call, then that's fine. However, if someone says they are unsure and does not want to hear pitches, then respect it, and change the topic.

So there is a lesson for people. Don't tell me who to vote for, and honestly, don't make you political views so transparent that people will not want to participate. We all have strong opinions about certain things. However, if we express those strong opinions right off the bat, an introverted person will have no reason to speak up. Who knows? that introvert may have had something really interesting and eclectic, and now they never had that chance to speak up. If you do this, and don't allow others to openly express their political beliefs, you are, and forever will be, a douche.

In essence, shut up about what you saw on YouTube, or the really good point you saw on CNN or Fox News. Get your information from a variety of sources and never just trust one (believe me). Keep your mind open about different things in life. If you are not willing to do that, then you are cutting off the communication process, and that is disrespectful to others. Be respectful of the voting process. It is a wonderful right. The right to vote for whom ever YOU choose.

John Nash lessons, helping for a better... or at least more tolerable tomorrow...

The Hyperbole is back!

2008-10-03T12:05:00.002-04:00

To my loyal readers. I know that I have been not been blogging in recent days. Due to my last trip to Georgia (which was TOTALLY worth it) I have been behind on school. However, I got a load of work done this week and I am ahead of the game. So therefore, Life as a Hyperbole will be back on it's regularly scheduled time with John Nash lessons, top 30 movies, making fun of people, and of course, explaining how great Bama and VT are in football. That's all ahead, and I appreciate you thanks, applause, and free stuff is always appreciated. So welcome back Hyperbole, we missed you...

Coming soon, to a blog near you...

2008-09-25T10:25:00.006-04:00

I am always very intrigued by tradition. The overwhelming satisfaction of why certain schools do certain motions and chants has always fascinated me. It had occurred to me that I had no idea why Auburn University said "War Eagle" before each game, and that the eagle swooped onto the field before the opening kickoff. At first, I thought it was another Mascot. Like the Tigers, were also the eagles, were also the plainsmen, I didn't get it. So Mr. Josh DeLung, my colleague and fellow VT blog writer went on our information source, Wikipedia to see what was the origin of this tale. After first glance, I thought it was a joke, but this is directly off the Auburn website...

"War Eagle" is Auburn's battle cry, not a mascot or nickname. The most popular story about the battle cry dates back to the first time Auburn met Georgia on the football field in 1892 and centers around a spectator who was a veteran of the Civil War. In the stands with him that day was an eagle the old soldier had found on a battlefield during the war. He had kept it as a pet for almost 30 years. According to witnesses, the eagle suddenly broke free and began majestically circling the playing field. As the eagle soared, Auburn began a steady march toward the Georgia end zone for a thrilling victory. Elated at their team's play and taking the bird's presence as an omen of success, Auburn students and fans began to yell "War Eagle" to spur on their team. At the game's end, the eagle took a sudden dive, crashed into the ground, and died. But the battle cry "War Eagle" lived on to become a symbol of the proud Auburn spirit.

So, the war eagle is not a nickname. Auburn usually states, "Alabama doesn't say Roll Elephant, it's the same concept". First of all, I would hope an Elephant wouldn't roll anywhere, that seems incredibly dangerous. Second of all, this description was way too "mock epic", blown way out proportion, and hilarious at the exact same time. This doesn't seem like an origin of a battle-cry, It seems like a Disney movie that never quite made it through storyboard. This description seems so ridiculously cheesy. I can imagine it would be one of those straight to Disney DVD. Therefore, "Life as a Hyperbole" will be doing the untold dramatic and heartwarming mini-series of, "Billy, The War Eagle".

A wonderful journey set place in the civil war about an eagle named, Billy. Who flew throughout the plantations and the battlefields in the Plains of Alabama. This heartwarming tale about an eagles flight throughout the war, the injury and loss that he sustained, and his final epic flight over Jordan Hare Stadium. He's Billy... The War Eagle

Set forth for a journey in the sky!

Watch him soar through the clouds so high!

Soar Billy, The War Eagle!

Soar Billy, the War Eagle!

Hurry, Billy, the time is come!

You must help before it's too late,

Thanks to you, dear old Billy

Drunken Auburn fans can finally Celebrate!

For you old Billy...

Malibu's Most Wanted

2008-09-24T17:13:00.008-04:00

I suppose once you go black... Well, you know the rest. Normally I do one post a day, but this was too great to keep to myself. Black and Whiteouts must be the new thing in high t-shirt sales these days. All over the country, teams are either going black or going white for football games. Virginia Tech went white for their opening game. Go ahead and do a google search. Do you see any white in those home uniforms? I told the Hokies, let Penn State do the white-outs. We should stick to the Orange and Maroon effect. So all that is fine and dandy right? Well, the new thing for college football this week, is the Blackout, and I gotta admit, the "Life as a Hyperbole" is feeling the black trend myself...

So here's the skinny, (yeah, i said skinny). I pay strong attention to 3 teams in college football: Virginia Tech, Alabama, and Appalachian State. 2 of these teams will be playing in a blackout game. Can you guess who?

No, It's not App. State!

Alabama and Virginia Tech are going on the road to host blackout games. Alabama goes to Athens to play Georgia and Virginia Tech to Lincoln to play Nebraska. Both Georgia and Nebraska are doing blackouts. Georgia realizes the impact of this game and decided to go black (I will levee, the uniforms do look cool). Also, Nebraska was once known as the "Black shirt defense". But let's view the jerseys

No Black there...

Not much black there...

So what is the deal? What confuses me more is that these are NIGHT games, in BLACK-Shirt filled stadiums. One lesson that my Mom always told me is if your going to play at night, wear something BRIGHT! Now, i know there are blaring lights in the stadium. I'm not Joe Paterno, we can play night games right now. But won't the Georgia/Nebraska fans tend to blend in with their own team? I can just imagine Matthew Stafford, "Ok, i got the ball, let's see... Well I know who NOT to throw too. But um, all im seeing are red helmets running around...crap". I know, that wont be the case. However, Black and Night....they tend to blend together the last time I checked

Let me put it in perspective here. Appalachian State and Missouri... not doing blackouts today. Nebraska and Georgia, going black. Um, can't we do a promotion like... "The Red Sea"? That's pretty catchy. I'm all about student unity... and blatant commercialism... but um, use the colors that you normally use! That goes for you to Virginia Tech... no more whiteouts.

Blackouts are fine, I'll even let Nebraska and Georgia doing a blackout slide... DO IT ON DIFFERENT WEEKS!

Though, I'm digging the new template scheme... Maybe these two teams have caught on to something...

Who made you Mozart?

2008-09-24T10:20:00.003-04:00

So I was browsing through iTunes the other day looking for the new Bloc Party album that is out on Mp3 format. Not on iTunes, crap. Now I have a sequence of looking through my favorite bands which proceeds something like: Bloc Party, Kings of Leon, My Morning Jacket, The Hives, and the Foo Fighters. There are many other bands, but those are my top 5 in the batting order.

Now, Kings of Leon and My Morning Jacket have recently come out with new albums, and I am really losing faith in both of them. MMJ recently released the album, "Evil Urges". Now, I enjoyed their previous albums, "It Still Moves" and "Z" and they are brilliantly done. I can jam out, and sing along in my car. However, this new album did not impress me, in fact, it put me to sleep.

So I went on iTunes to see if other people were sharing my dismay, and sure enough there were a bunch of people writing, "WTF, Mate?". However, with any person that has to be a "hater" there is always a purist *barf*. I have seen this over and over, too. From the music genius, he stated to the people that didn't like the album:

"You just don't understand music"

What the hell is that even supposed to mean? I don't understand music? Care to enlighten us on what music is, Franz Liszt? I have taken music classes in college, I can effectively play 3 different instruments, so what do I not get about music?

I have a philosophy on artists and bands, and that is... ready for this... Bands and Artists can begin to play crappy music, despite awesome starts. For example, Kings of Leon released, "Youth and Young Manhood" which was incredible. Their new album diverted from that style completely. It's slower, and more drawn out. Weezer is the same way, "The Blue Album" was outstanding. However the new albums (ok, red album is not bad) are so poppy and whiney, i cannot take listening to the whole thing.

That is not to say all artists are that way. The Strokes started out with a great debut album, had a rougher patch, and then had another awesome album. So I will renew my faith if something makes my toe tap.

Bottom line is, we hear the old saying "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder". This applies well with music, I believe. My Morning Jacket had a "Jam Band" first album, and then stopped. Ok, well, I like Jam Bands, and now that they have stopped playing that, I have not enjoyed it. It doesn't mean I don't understand music. It means that I have developed an expectation about certain bands, and it was not met. Who knows, maybe I don't understand music. But what the hell am I doing then?

My challenge to my readers, if you "understand" music; enlighten me. What am I missing here? I believe an artist can pour his/her soul into a song, and it can still sound like crap. I leave the comment section to the music fans here...

THE Game: #3 Georgia v. #8 Alabama Preview

2008-09-23T17:30:00.015-04:00

*Ahem* Cue the Hans Zimmer Music!

September 27th, 2008 is the date for the Blackout between the Hedges. The media has fled to the deep south for the game of the week, could be the year. A match-up that ended in dramatic heroic fashion will be underway in a couple days. Athens, Georgia hosts the "Clash of the Titans" of the SEC. Not many people expected the impact that this game would have. However, it is upcoming, and rest assure football fans, this is one of those games where fans will say, "I was there for that game". And this distinguished author will be down in Georgia in deep cover to see the spectacle that is: The Battle between the hedges.

All sports stories fail in comparison because of this game, in my opinion. Therefore, not only would I like to make a pick for this game, I want to give a full-blown analysis to why and how this game will end like it will. Therefore I want to give the impact players, the key match-ups, the x factor, and why UGA or Bama will win. So buckle up for one hell of a ride...

The Players that will have to be on their game...

UGA: (C) Kevin Perez

Not Moreno? not Stafford? not Green? I think it's a given that all three need to be playing well for this game. However the 6-3, 270 pound sophomore will need to be on his A game for this battle. Why? Because he has to deal with the 6-5, 365 pound nose-tackle Terrence Cody. UGA has not been known for their line, they are young and inexperienced. This line probably needs to consider a bunch formation to deal with the monster D-Line of Alabama.

UA: (QB) John Parker Wilson

JP Wilson needs to be on key for this game. Thankfully he has been known to do well under the major spotlight (against Clemson, Tennessee 2007). Georgia defense will give many different looks on defense. They will constantly put eight men in the box and blitz, blitz, blitz. They will make Alabama throw the ball. Alabama does have some good receivers for quick routes, and they will need that to keep the Georgia defense off the field and away from the backfield.

Key Match-ups:

It's going to start and end on the lines. Georgia and Alabama need to give their respective quarterback time to pass. They need to give their running games the proper lanes. Both of these defenses are fast and brutal. The opposing teams have had trouble scoring in every game against the two teams. It'll be different for this game, but the defenses will be strong. Therefore the offensive lines will have to be even stronger.

The X-Factor

UGA: Special Teams

One thing that Alabama has some major concerns with is kickoff coverage. Georgia needs to take advantage of this. They need to get great field position in every drive that they have. They also need to use the lanes that are given to them. They may find a touchdown on a kickoff that they didn't expect.

Alabama: Tick, Tick, Tick

Georgia has an outstanding defense. However, between their previous opponents (GA Southern, CMU, USC, ASU) have had lousy run games, or no offense at all. Alabama will not be this way, they run the ball...a lot. Alabama needs to keep that defense on the field, control the clock, quick outlet passes. This will be key to compete in this game

What does Georgia have to do to win?

First, Georgia has to blitz, a lot. Make John Parker Wilson pass the ball. He has not seen the like of this Georgia defense and if you get Bama on their heels early, Georgia will sick 'em against the tide.

Second, Once again, they need field position. Get good field position off the kickoff and keep Alabama near the end-zone. Moreno will break a few big runs. It would be a lot better if he had them when they are midfield as opposed to their own 20

Third, If Matthew Stafford has ice in his veins. Georgia is very likely to win. He cannot be nervous in this game. Make sure your wide receivers are open and don't be afraid of getting sacked. You have one of the best freshman receivers in the NCAA, 3rd and 20 is always an option instead of an INT.

Last, Georgia is worst in the SEC about penalties. This has to stop in this game, period.

What does Alabama have to do to win?

First things first, Bama has to strike. If this was a boxing match, do not start with your jabs. If Alabama gets the ball first, they need to throw a few haymakers. Alabama is a running team, so show them otherwise. Show that you can get Georgia on the run and the pass. That balance will make the defense uneasy and it will make a gigantic difference.

Wrap Moreno Up: Do not quit on this guy. Moreno runs like he wants to score on every play. He keeps his feet moving. Do not try to knock him down, throw him down to the ground. This is so vital to Alabama. They need to keep Georgia guessing and on their toes.

Run Forest Run: Mark Ingram and Glen Coffee need to be big in this game. If the dynamic duo can get more than 200 yards on the ground. Bama will win this game. There will be some home-run balls and these two will be essential in winning this game.

The Prediction:

1st 2nd 3rd 4th Final

UGA 7 7 3 7 24

Bama 10 7 0 10 27

Bama 27 UGA 24

Game winning field goal by Tiffin with :20 left.

Last Notes:

We'll miss you Munson

Larry Munson, long time announcer for the Georgia Bulldogs is finally done. He will be missed as being one of the best announcers in college football.

"The pass is in the air, and we jump up... TOUCHDOWN, OH GOD, A TOUCHDOWN!!!"

You will be missed...

Until next time sports fans... ROOOOOLLLLLLL TIIIIDE! ROLL!

Taking a Break

2008-09-22T08:33:00.005-04:00

It's hard to take a break on Monday when there was such a wonderful week of sports. US. didn't need the "Eye of the Tiger" (Woods) and they still won in dramatic fashion. Yankee stadium had a last great game with the Yanks beating the Orioles. The Miami Dolphins crushed the Patriots in the NFL. Lastly, Alabama had a pig pick'n with Arkansas and look to play UGA next week. Which I will have a full fledged analysis of that game (which will be incredible) and will be attending the game where the Crimson Tide BEATS the Georgia Bulldogs in the best game of the season so far. You don't want to miss it...

Alas, there will be no sport stories, no John Nash Lesson, I can't even make fun of anyone (They won the Ryder Cup without you, Tiger). The "Life as a Hyperbole" staff: aka. Me, has to take a break to study for an exam. Rest assure that I will be back tomorrow with a great post about how ridiculously funny it was to see the US. win without Tiger.

USA! USA! USA!

College Football Predictions Week #4

2008-09-19T18:12:00.003-04:00

Does this scene look familiar? For Alabama and Arkansas fans alike, this picture bring backs either fond or painful memories. Unranked Alabama knocked off #16 ranked Arkansas in one of the final plays of the game. With this, I introduce, week #4. This week has some intriguing match-ups. Namely the Bayou Bengals vs. the Tiger/Plainsmen/War Eagles of Auburn who scored a whopping 3 points against the MSU Bulldogs. In addition, the ACC (aka the please wake me up when it's over conference). Has a crucial game between the Tar Heels of UNC vs. the Hokies of Virginia Tech. Now, UNC looks a hell of a lot better than the Hokies do, and they are playing in Chapel Hill. Still, I do not have faith in Butch to pull this one out. Either way it's going to be the best glorified pillow-fight of the week!

Now, this is the real "dormant" week, the calm before the storm. Why? Because (hopefully) next week will be a clash of the titans Georgia vs. Alabama. I am rooting for both of them to take this week by storm and look excellent for the best SEC match-up of the season. Maybe the best NCAA match-up of the season to date. Because, if it was anything like last year, it's going to be a outright war between the hedges at Georgia, and the esteemed author of this blog will be there rooting for the Tide.

Last week was not a good week for me, I went 10-6 and lost some of my lead in the standings. However, Colorado winning last night prevented me from going 0-2. This is a big weekend for picks and I am ready to watch some football. Here's a look at my teams in action, and some guest visitors will be in the mix this week.

My Teams in Action

Virginia Tech @ North Carolina: Go Hokies!

Alabama @ Arkansas: Roll Tide!

Appalachian State @ James Madison: Win App!

My teams need to be road warriors this week

Last week: 2-0

Overall Record: 6-2

Guest Appearances:

Georgia @ Arizona State: Remember, Athens will only be great if both of us win. GO DAWGS!

and as always: I hope you lose,: UVA, UNC, Notre Dame, and Auburn

The standings and picks for the week:

Rank	Selection	W-L	Pts
Overall Standings Through Week 4
1	esdaniel2009's picks	51-14	632
2	smbaloch's picks	53-12	610
3	debo9's picks	54-11	607
4	Evan	49-16	597
5	Josh's Picks	51-14	591
6	Give 'em Hell Herd	51-14	590
7	vkdelung's picks	49-16	545
8	Shawnb24's picks	48-17	526

Date	Away Team	Point Value	Home Team	Home Spread (info only)
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	(13)Alabama (3-0)		Arkansas (2-0)	+8.5
Sat 09/20 03:00pm	Boise St. (2-0)		(12)Oregon (3-0)	-12.5
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	(17)East Caro. (3-0)		North Carolina St. (1-2)	+7.5
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	Eastern Mich. (1-2)		Maryland (2-1)	-21.5
Sat 09/20 03:30pm	(4)Florida (2-0)		Tennessee (1-1)	+7.5
Sat 09/20 08:13pm	(3)Georgia (3-0)		(24)Arizona St. (2-1)	+6.5
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	Iowa (3-0)		Pittsburgh (1-1)	-1.5
Wed 09/17 08:00pm UL over KSU 38-29	Kansas St. (2-1)	12	Louisville (2-1)	+3.5
Sat 09/20 03:30pm	(6)LSU (2-0)		(9)Auburn (3-0)	+2
Sat 09/20 03:30pm	Marshall (2-1)		Southern Miss. (2-1)	-9.5
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	Miami (1-1)		Texas A&M (1-1)	+3
Sat 09/20 03:30pm	Notre Dame (2-0)		Michigan St. (2-1)	-8.5
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	Rice (2-1)		(7)Texas (2-0)	-30.5
Sat 09/20 03:30pm	Rutgers (0-2)		Navy (1-2)	+5
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	UCF (1-1)		Boston College (1-1)	-11
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	Vanderbilt (3-0)		Mississippi (2-1)	-5.5
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	Virginia Tech (2-1)		North Carolina (2-0)	-1.5
Sat 09/20 12:00pm	(18)Wake Forest (2-0)		Florida St. (2-0)	-4.5
Thu 09/18 08:30pm CO over WV 17-14	(22)West Virginia (1-2)	3	Colorado (3-0)	+3
Sat 09/20 03:00pm	Wyoming (2-1)		(11)Brigham Young (3-0)	-26.5
Awarded Points		3

Top 30 Movies: #29. Rocky I-IV

2008-09-18T09:47:00.008-04:00

29. Rocky I-IV (1976). Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 93% out of 100%.

So how do you follow up the most "badass" movie of the year? How do you follow up the "Batman to end all Batmans", and perhaps the best action picture of 2008?It's hard obstacle, and one movie has to take on the challenge of competing with such a great action flick. People of Philadelphia: I think we need a montage. It was an underdog story. However, all in all, the entire story of Rocky (excluding number 5 and 6) was something that had to be on the Top 30 list. So strap on your boxing gloves, enter the ring, tell Mick to cut you if you cant read this, and let us begin the assessment of the Rocky series "Ding, Ding"

Why The Movie is on the list:

1. Going into Round 15

One of the things that I enjoy about great movies are the fact that they withstand the test of time. A great movie never gets stale by generation. Rocky is one of those movies about an underdog that my father enjoys, I enjoy it and people in high school still watch this movie. It has stood the test of time and then some. The fight scenes do not get old, there are people that trash talk in real boxing now, and let's be honest, who doesn't like the constant feuds between Apollo Creed and Rocky Balboa? Apollo goes on these Mike Tyson/Muhammad Ali tirades were as Rocky responds with an inaudible, "Let's doooooiiiit"ect. Even still, it parodies itself and it never gets old

2. The MONTAGE

Watch this, and tell me you do not want to run 10 miles. Or at least do a couple more sit-ups. With Rocky I-IV there was almost a certain really cool montage of Rocky getting progressively better at running, sprinting, ect. Either way, it made you feel like you could climb the stairs at the art museum in Philadelphia. (Which, give it a shot, it ain't easy)

3. The Sub-Stories and the Fight

For what it's worth the plot is actually pretty good. It's extremely linear in every movie (Rocky's bad, Hooks up with Adrienne, Someone dies, Adrienne and Paulie get mad, Fight Montage, Rocky wins). Either way, your still intrigued in each movie to see what happens. The plot may be very linear, but its fun to watch. Also, don't even kid yourself if you didn't think Rocky beating Ivan Drago was awesome. Because quite frankly it was more than awesome. Going 15 some odd rounds and Rocky battling back from being behind and he wins. Still...Awesome

4. The Music

Let's not kid yourselves here. Who doesn't get pumped up to "Eye of the Tiger". Who doesn't want to sprint at the end of your run when you hear "Gotta Fly Now". Who doesn't want to scale a Mountain when you hear "Hearts on Fire". The music is so awesomely corny and cheesy, but still you work out to it. Still, "Eye of the Tiger" is show on commercials today about running and succeeding in life. However, the best example comes from this premise: Why is the song "The Final Countdown" considered to be one of the most awesomely bad songs ever? Because it was not in a Rocky movie. That's the impact that Rocky has! It can turn an otherwise lame and cheesy song and make it the motivational song of the century. Plus the band "Survivor" owes their life to Rocky, think about that.

Why this Movie wasn't rated higher

1. The Last 2 sequals

Let's face it, a magnitude of awesome flows through Rocky. It would be great if they stopped with 4! The fifth sequel brought tears to my eyes of how bad it was. Rocky is never to fight in a street fight, he is in the ring fighting Mr. T or Apollo. He isn't suppose to fight Tommy Gunn in a back alley. Plus when was it Kosher (that's right, I said Kosher) to put someone other than Rocky in the spotlight. Unacceptable, creators of Rocky. You had a great run at 4. Rocky does not need to fight in the alley, or when he has a catheter and a walker. 60 Year old Rocky may still be jacked, but it's not the same...

It's just not the same...

2. The Dumbest Speeches Ever

Listen, I am all about the wonderful and blissfully corny appeal that Rocky has. However, couldn't we have found some better dialogue when Rocky wins? Take the fourth Rocky for example, talking to the Solviets (at this point) "So I came here in Russia and I was all like, you guys are lame, and yous guys were like, hes a big dumb american, and I was all like, well you smell funny, and yous guys were all like well you can't talk right, but you know yous guys aint so bad and we can all change...everyone can change!" Doesn't quite bring down the cultural barriers, Dr. King. I mean, in all honesty, it's hard to understand Rocky enough as it is, so we need to conjure up a speech after he's gotten his head bashed in? Then again, if you hear these speeches by boxers after a match, this isn't too far off....

Touche, Mr. Balboa, Touche

All in all the gripes are few. My main thing is that they came up with too many sequels when four did just fine. To be honest, that's better than most films ever do. Either way, Rocky is corny and cheesy, but it's too much fun not to put in the Top 30. If anything Rocky will be on my iPod as I run today.

Until next time, "It's the eeeeeyyyyeeeee of the Tiger"

Dear Matt Leinart, I was actually laughing AT you.

2008-09-17T18:42:00.008-04:00

Welcome to the NFL, Matt. Your glory days of being a deity at USC are over. Your Heisman trophy, that I am sure is in your bed right now, is irrelevant now. Your elite Trojan teammates are succeeding elsewhere, and your backing up the once great quarterback from Northern Iowa, Kurt Warner. I have always given Matt a hard time for whining on ESPN specials and the magazine. But now, there seems like there is a great deal to whine about now. How can I hate this guy, he's friends with the Manning bros., he seems like a nice guy on television, he's in all those funny commercials. Why such dislike for the young Matt Leinart? Well, let me elaborate...

The Freak of Nature:

I need to really explain this. Leinart has been living in the shadows of Vince Young his entire career, and, one can only hope he has let it go with Vince's recent crisis he's going through. (Which I wish him well). However, Leinart showed no consent for Vince Young during his times of success. Instead of congratulating the talented QB after the national championship game where Texas beat USC, he mentioned that Young was a, "Freak of Nature" and taken by itself wouldn't be that bad. However, in a formal interview. You should refer to him as an outstanding player, and not a freak. That's just disrespect. It was a real shame, because Heisman winner, Reggie Bush, talked about the great program that Texas had and how they played a great game. Leinart's response? "We are still the better team", well, according to the scoreboard, no your not.

In addition to this, Matt Leinart went to ESPN the magazine for a story Leinart interviewed Jeff Fisher, coach of the Tennessee Titans and asked him why he picked Vince Young over him in the draft. Really? Are you actually asking that, Leinart. Did it help to know that Young's level of talent did not match USC's talent? Yet, he still gained 500 yards in the title game and won rookie of the year. No, Matt. I have no idea why Fisher chose Vince Young

Matt Whine-art

One of the series on ESPN depicted college players going for the draft. It was fun to watch except our dear friend Matt had to express everything that he didn't like. Things such as not waking up early, not dressing in designer suits, not talking to the press. Um, excuse me? You are Matt Leinart! You were taking one ballroom dancing class apart from being the most popular athlete aside from Kobe Bryant in L.A. I imagine that half the population would risk "waking up early" to walk in your shoes for even half an hour. The sad part is, now that he is in the NFL, his whining has not stopped. Why is Kurt Warner starting? Hm, let's see, oh yes! He's a hard working player. Warner is in the Brett Favre era and believes in working hard. Take a lesson from him, Leinart.

That's My Baby Daddy...

During his days at USC (and maybe while he was dating Paris Hilton) Leinart found interest in one of the basketball players at USC, Brynn Cameron. One thing lead to another and Leinart was all over the news. Seems that some child is now calling Leinart daddy now. Now, I am not going to be the one to defend Ms. Cameron. However, I will say that she has done a great thing in giving birth and supporting her child. Let's hope that our dear Mr. Leinart sends the check to this single mom and her child back in Southern California. Are you serious, Matt? This is your child, and Lord knows that Brynn is a hundred times better looking that the Hollywood girls you've been dating in the past. For her to have a child, under the circumstances, is nothing short of a great decision on her part. Let's just hope Mr. Leinart can take time off his busy schedule of warming the bench to come visit his son. Give me a break...

I am unsure what makes me most upset about this player: poor sportsmanship, the fact that he has it "so rough", or the fact that he is not with his own son. Matt Leinart, I am glad your butt is on the bench, and i hope you continue to sit there, maybe you'll get a chance to think about your "glory days" as a trojan. You were a phenomenal player in college, but this is the NFL. This is big boy football we are dealing with and you are drowning in this league.

Let's take a brief look here. The QB before you, Carson Palmer, is a starter for a pretty bad team, but he starts. The quarterback under you, Matt Cassel is now a starter for the Patriots. Seems a bit ironic that he is playing and now you are resting on the bench. And that is why, Matt Leinart I am actually laughing AT you...

John Nash Lesson #2: Learn to be an Effective and Interesting Story Teller

2008-09-16T09:04:00.007-04:00

I have always been told from my family that you need to watch out for the "Me Monsters". Let me elaborate, the "Me Monster" is essentially the person at the dinner table that has to "one-up" everyone else's story. See, to the "Me Monster" your story is not worth his/her time. Why? Because his/her story is always more important, and more interesting that yours will ever be. Although, in my lifetime, I have met few great storytellers. Most are overweight and sit at tables at the bar instead of getting some "tail". And to be quite frank, most of these people are overweight because, (A) Food goes great with stories and (B) These people can sit for hours listening to other peoples stories. A good friend of mine, Alec Wagner, mentioned to me that storytellers always listen to other storytellers. They keep the mood light, the group is entertained, and when new people are introduced, a friend could always say, "Tell us that story about..., it's hilarious!" So, for my John Nash Lesson (refer to lesson 1 for description) of the week, I would like to share the secrets of the art and/or science of being an effective storyteller.

The Pre-Story:

Effective stories build off other stories themselves. We tend to want to share experiences related to what the other person was talking about. We all do it, because we like to hear ourselves talk. However, make sure that you do NOT interrupt the speaker beforehand. Remember the cardinal rule: "Storytellers always listen to other storytellers". Be attentive, look at them in the eye, keep the prior story going, the person talking will respect you for that.

Never, and I mean NEVER undermine someone else's story. I have heard the common phrase after something had been said, "That ain't nothing". Well, sorry to waste everyones time here, why don't you embrace us with your adventures around the world, Marco Polo. Seriously, to say that someone else's story ain't nothing is rude and inconsiderate, and if you are at the table, make sure to call that jerk out.

There are instances where the story ended and the "Me Monsters" come out to steal the conversation, and they probably will. They will share their story, and what? Man, that has nothing to do with what I wanted to talk about. Let it go, keep your mind focused at the topic at hand. Nothing is more annoying to retract to the prior conversation. A conversation is a flowing, living thing. Don't stop the current just because you had something to say.

It's My Turn to Talk, Dammit.

So you have broken enemy lines, and now the floor is yours. How do you keep the audience interested, engaged, and wanting more?

First, always acknowledge the predecessor. A simple, "that was hilarious" will do just fine. However, when you are talking about your story, refer back to the other persons story. Use a brief example of the other persons story to relate back to yours. Most of the time, the person telling the last tale will know that you listened to him/her

Prepare for interruptions. We live in an ADD society. If you are at a restaurant or a bar, there is a likelihood that a waiter will come by, or a friend will come see the group, or someone will wont to break off briefly to say something else. If that happens, let it go. No, it is not fair. However, people realize who had the stage. Just take a mental bookmark, and wait for someone to acknowledge your presence on the stage. If they don't, drop the bookmark and let the conversation flow again. It's a hassle, but it makes the other person look like a jerk, and you'll look very modest (refer to lesson #1)

Prepare for the press. When someone tells a story, I am the "Press Guy". I do ask questions, I do want to know what happens before you tell it. I am that annoying movie guy that likes to commentate during the scary scene. Prepare for that, and feed off of it. Do not feel the need to have this prepared comedy routine. Be spontaneous, be inventive, improvise, there may be a bit in the story that could be funnier because a question was asked.

Sit back and relax. Ok, you just told a great story. What now? Well, see where the group goes. If the group wants you to tell another story, try to divert the attention to someone else. If they insist, then go ahead and have round 2 of your stories. However, primarily, you should sit back, and let the next person go. Avoid being the "Me Monster" i've been there, and it's not a pretty scene. Domination of the conversation is annoying and rude. So back off for a bit, enjoy that rum and coke that you have neglected while your story has progressed

The Secrets of the Great Storytellers

There are good storytellers, and then there are great storytellers. How do we differentiate between the two? Well, here are some secrets of the best...

Always recognize the best storytellers. Believe me, you'll know them when you see them. One thing that I have noticed that great storytellers will do is improvise. Many times, we have heard a friend tell a story. The best will throw in some hidden sights and sounds that they didn't use before. That way, the new people get the story, and the people who have heard it before get a new glimpse of what happened. You'll notice that all parties will actually become more interested because of the added details

Like any good movie: characters help. Take a break in your story to describe them, give the mental image of what they look like. That way people can put the puzzle together themselves but have a better understanding of who that person is. It's one thing to say, "My buddy Joe" and it's quite another to say, "Joe is a huge guy, 6'5" weighs 275 pounds, and can crush a mans hand when he shakes it". Be honest about the person (aka don't tell Big Fish stories), but let the audience know who the person is, and some background information.

Lastly, watch for the nonverbal cues. Some stories are not interesting (sorry everyone). If people are looking away, at each other, taking more sips of their drink, breaking eye contact; Your story is NOT interesting. Once again, it's not fair, but nonverbal behavior does not lie. Wrap the story up, and move on, ask a question to someone else and divert the attention away from you. Even the best story tellers run into this problem.

So I hope I helped today, just remember that conversation is a moving thing, do not stop it. Make sure to keep the conversation rolling and keep everyone involved.

Until Next time...

College Football Awards: Week #3

2008-09-14T18:44:00.004-04:00

So week 3 is over in college football. It was a bittersweet weekend for an avid college football fan. Virginia Tech had a great game vs. Georgia Tech winning in a nail-biter 20-17. Downside, we had to put up with these, "Syracuse" orange uniforms. Note to the Hokies: stick to the maroon for home games, white for away games. Nevertheless, it was a decent showing before going to Chapel Hill to see the Tarheels. In addition, Alabama was back to business destroying Western Kentucky 41-7. Appalachian State had a bye week. So my favorite teams were 2-0 this week with an overall 6-2 record. My predictions in week 3 were not as fortunate. I was 10-6 and lost a few points in my overall lead. Nevertheless, on to the awards...

The Good: USC Trojans

Don't get me wrong, I cannot stand USC. However, you cannot deny how badly they pounded Ohio State. They deserve the number one spot right now, hands down. Now, I am proud of the Buckeyes for scheduling someone other than the entire state of Ohio. It also does my heart good to see a big 10 team play someone worth significance *COUGH Penn State and Northwestern*. However, last nights game was downright boring to see how badly the Trojans trounced on the Buckeyes. Maybe they should have scheduled the last Ohio team, Cincinnati. But really, 35-3? USC, you have my respect. Sanchez looked great, Trojans had the tenacious D, and there was a good balance in the rush and the pass. With an easier schedule in the balance now, USC might fight on to a chance to play the winner of the Big 12 championship. (I got my money on Missouri)

The Bad: The rest of the state of California

Dear UCLA and Cal, You are KILLING me in my college football predictions. UCLA, i need to talk to you. Don't go anywhere Cal, your next after im done with UCLA.

A post in the UCLA student newspaper stated in the beginning of the season that USC would not be the only successful team in Los Angeles. Wait, who were you referring to, Loyola Marymount? Do they even have a football team? UCLA had one of the best games of week one with a dramatic comeback win against Tennessee. Which was a very exciting and heartwarming story of a new coach and a quarterback who never gave up and beat the Vols in overtime. So who the hell showed up for that game last week. I was counting on a team riding high showing up to play BYU, a team that beat Washington by one, after a controversial excessive celebration penalty. However, the Cougars handed UCLA their worse loss since 1929 with the score of 59-0. Note to self: never vote for UCLA, ever again.

Ok, Cal, come into my office. The Golden Bears of Cal lost to Maryland by a score of 35-27. This is the same Maryland team that lost to Middle Tennessee State and barely beat Deleware. By the 3rd quarter the Terps were up 28-6. Cal, this is embarrassing, losing to a lower-mid ACC team, who is still the worst major conference in NCAA. Maybe Berkley, CA should host some Marines, then they're football team will be tougher to beat.

The Ugly: Inter-SEC offense

4 teams took the field in inter-SEC play. Auburn, Mississippi State, Georgia, and South Carolina. These four SEC teams COMBINED for a whopping 26 points (about 6 points per team). USC had more points then four teams combined. Now, South Carolina and Georgia have great defenses. So winning 14-7 is a decent, smash mouth SEC game. So I cannot rag on the Dawgs and Gamecocks that much. However, Auburn beat MSU by a grand total of 3-2. That's not a football game, that's a futebol game. Seriously, did I miss something, or did Auburn and MSU put their soccer teams up. If these four teams want to survive with offensive powerhouses: Florida, LSU, and Alabama, they might want to score more than 3 points.

One last note before I close this week: Tulane is the best 0-2 team in the nation. Holding close with Alabama and ECU, Tulane is impressive and will be a force in the following weeks. Heads up, Green Wave, brighter days are around the corner....

Until next week, football fans...

College Football Predictions Week #3

2008-09-12T08:30:00.007-04:00

College Football: Week 3

Week 3 is approaching. I am just as excited about week 3 as I was about week one. I will be tailgating for Virginia Tech v. Georgia Tech this weekend in Blacksburg. Therefore I will not be able to watch many of the games. As of right now, I am 0-1 for my predictions this week. The Tarheels of UNC steamrolled over Rutgers. This was a total shocker to me considering that UNC had trouble over McNeese State. Nevertheless, here are my picks for this week, enjoy!.

Note: My picks are the highlighted picks. If the name is colored and not in black in white, that is my projected winner

As of right now, I (esdaniel2009) am currently 1st in my College Football pool winning both weeks 1 and 2.

Rank	Selection	W-L	Pts
Overall Standings Through Week 2
1	esdaniel2009's picks	40-7	534
2	Evan	38-9	503
3	debo9's picks	40-7	493
4	smbaloch's picks	40-7	485
5	Josh's Picks	39-8	483
6	Give 'em Hell Herd	38-9	476
7	vkdelung's picks	34-13	419
8	Shawnb24's picks

Date	Away Team	Point Value	Home Team	Home Spread (info only)
Sat 09/13 12:00pm	(25)California (2-0)		Maryland (1-1)	+10
Sat 09/13 03:00pm	(20)East Caro. (2-0)		Tulane (0-1)	+14
Sat 09/13 03:30pm	(2)Georgia (2-0)		South Carolina (1-1)	+10
Sat 09/13 03:30pm	Georgia Tech (2-0)		Virginia Tech (1-1)	-10
Fri 09/12 08:00pm	(11)Kansas (2-0)		(18)South Fla. (2-0)	-4
Sat 09/13 07:00pm	Memphis (0-2)		Marshall (1-1)	-3
Sat 09/13 03:30pm	Michigan (1-1)		Notre Dame (1-0)	-4
Sat 09/13 12:00pm	Navy (1-1)		Duke (1-1)	-2.5
Thu 09/11 07:30pm UNC over RU 44-12	North Carolina (2-0)	5	Rutgers (0-2)	-6
Sat 09/13 12:00pm	North Carolina St. (1-1)		(23)Clemson (1-1)	-20
Sat 09/13 08:00pm	(5)Ohio St. (2-0)		(1)Southern California (1-0)	-9.5
Sat 09/13 03:30pm	(17)Penn St. (2-0)		Syracuse (0-2)	+26
Sat 09/13 03:30pm	UCLA (1-0)		(15)Brigham Young (2-0)	-9
Sat 09/13 07:30pm	Virginia (1-1)		Connecticut (2-0)	-11.5
Sat 09/13 12:00pm	Western Ky. (1-1)		(16)Alabama (2-0)	-33
Sat 09/13 10:30pm	(10)Wisconsin (2-0)		(21)Fresno St. (1-0)	-2

Top 30 Movies: #30. The Dark Knight

2008-09-11T09:54:00.020-04:00

30. The Dark Knight (2008).

Rotten Tomatoes Rating 94% out of 100%

So to kick off the list of my Top 30 movies of all time. I thought i'd divert my attention to the new summer blockbuster hit, The Dark Knight. I had to fight off hundreds of other movies so that this film could take this spot. With every movie (with few exceptions) there will be reasons why a certain film made the top 30 list and why it could have been rated higher. Please keep in mind that these are my favorite movies of all time. Your opinions may vary. Comments are always welcome of what you think of a particular movie. So without further adieu, let us begin with the Dark Knight...

Why the Film is on the List

1. Special Effects used with the "Made for Imax" Camera Angles.

One thing that I always like to mention as a movie critic and an avid movie goer, is that I believe that most action scenes are vastly overrated. However, in "The Dark Knights" defense, I saw this movie in Imax, which was an experience. The camera angles ranged from scene-to-scene. Dialogue shots were done in a wide screen to increase the peripheral view. While the action and landscape shots were done in Super Ultra Mega Imax Fullscreen. Literally, there are times that i felt sick to my stomach of the way the camera was spinning around Batman. Although, that doesn't exactly sound intriguing, it sure made the movie fun. The action scenes were elaborate and creative. The creators kept the audience guessing of what was going to occur next and it made it exciting to watch each and every "badass" fight scene. Will it be the same once it hits DVD? Can't say, I may have been spoiled, but I am sure interested to find out.

2. The Joker

Something needs to be said about the late Heath Ledger. Now, I have never been a fan of Mr. Ledger in the prior films that he has done. However, he was nothing short of brilliant in this film. His overwhelmingly eerie demeanor sent shivers down my spine with each scene. The amazing thing about the Joker in this movie was his great balance of being demonic and humorous at the exact same time (which in turn is why he is called the "Joker"). The dialogue seemed very well written with the Joker. Each line gave you some indication of who he was, and why he did such horrible acts. My colleague, Mr. Evan Serge noted that he may be the best comic book villain in movie history. To be honest, i cannot disagree with that statement. One aspect that the filmmakers did best with this character was the audience was wondering what the Joker was doing, while the other characters were on the screen. It was something that I had never seen in an antagonist, and it was brilliant. Heath, that was one hell of a goodbye, we are going to miss you...

3. The Introduction of Two-Face

Now correct me if I am wrong, but the movie did not follow the comic book for this story line. In the original, Harvey Dent (Two-face, and DA of Gotham City) was prosecuting a criminal when some acid was thrown on his face, and somehow it was Batman's fault. I am not sure, but the new sequence where Harvey Dent becomes Two Face is very fitting. The creators of this film did an excellent job of showing how his face became deformed, the symbolism of the coin (It's a bit cheesy, but it fits), and the reason he is so mad at Batman. To which, I have to say, I watched the movie, saying to myself, "Damn, I'd be pretty pissed too if that happened to me". Either way, this is one of the few times where I said the movie was actually a bit better than the book. Great Work!

Why the Movie is not Rated Higher.

1. Two Face: Now you see him, now you don't

One the same level of how I loved how the movie introduced "Two-Face", I was very disappointed of how they took him out of the movie. See, to me, Two-Face was one of the primary villains in the Batman series. In the movie, however, you see him for a grand total of an hour. He comes in, he's pissed off, he kills a bunch of people (most were personal reasons, which was a nice touch). Then the movie just kills him off. Well, dammit! I was enjoying his presence of just being flat out pissed off the entire time, now he's dead. Well, Dark Knight, I suppose we can't win them all...

2. "The Patriot" Phenomena

This needs a bit of explaining. I base a concept of movie strategies off of the movie the Patriot. (Which in turn has Heath Ledger). In this movie, there is way too much tension. One scene of near death after another re-occurs throughout the movie. Which is fine, but after a while, enough is enough! I need a few breaks from tension scenes, and the Dark Knight offered none near the end. In addition, there are 2 separate instances where Lieutenant James Gordon is either "dead" or had serious threat of death. After a while, I needed a break, which the Dark Knight did not provide. This may not be a gripe for some people, but it was just too much for me.

3. The "DMX" Batman Voice

This is a minor gripe, but Batman's voice got on my last damn nerve. When the Dark Knight opened his mouth, I felt like I was watching a DMX video. I only halfway expected for Batman to say something like, "Listen Mo' Fo', Where be the Joker!? And where my dogs at?! rawrggg!!! arf! arf! Ruff Rider fo' Life, Bitch!" Give me a break, Couldn't Morgan Freeman install a new voice-box in that Batman suit? You can disguise his voice without sounding like an aggressive John Madden.

Overall Assessment:

I have some gripes with the movie. However, I did not take away from how thrilling it was from start to finish. Yes some scenes got repetitive and old. However, there were some fantastic plot twists and made the movie an experience to watch. I may have been spoiled by watching on Imax, but i felt like I had just gotten out of a roller-coaster after the film finished. So for that, Dark Knight, I salute you...

Bulgaria: Hockey? We don't need no Stinking Hockey!

2008-09-10T10:12:00.014-04:00

I was choosing between topics to write about today. There is a lot of stuff to talk about these days in sports. Shawn Merriman is out for the season (Good news for the Broncos next week). Lance Armstrong will most likely be back in next years (Bigger Comeback Brett Favre? I'll show you). Or I could have followed the Wednesday theme of describing how much i dislike Matt Leinart. However, this story i read today was so inconceivable, I just had to write about it.

There is no word in the English language (or Bulgarian for that matter) that could describe what a monstrosity the Bulgarian women's national hockey team was for the olympic qualifiers. Bulgaria had some bad games, but the game against Slovakia the other night blew my mind to a whole other level. The Slovakian women beat the Bulgarians 82-0.

Let me repeat that, because I feel your not taking the journey with me...

The Bulgarians lost 82-0 in a hockey game. Yes, hockey! Where goals come in intervals of 1. There are no 3 pointers in hockey, you do not get special privilege for scoring from a distance. A slaughter in hockey is when a team loses around 7-0. The Bulgarians were down 7-0 after the first 5 minutes of a 60 minute game. The Slovakians averaged a goal every 44 seconds. How does this occur? So "Life as a Hyperbole" did some investigatory journalism to find out just how something like that could possibly happen.

Bulgaria is a country of around 7 million people. Of these 7 million people there is a registered 37 women that play ice hockey for Bulgaria. Which raises question number one; Who the hell got cut from this team? I understand that hockey is most definitely not top priority in Bulgaria. I even understand that Bulgarians don't care much about ice hockey in terms of what sports they play. However, isn't there some way people can teach these poor girls? My column today was to make fun of someone. I cannot, within the depths of my heart make fun of these women.

After the first period the score was 31-0. Three things here need to be thought about here. One, what could you possibly say as the Bulgarian coach to these women? "We'll get those 31 goals back". I wouldn't know what to say. Second what would you say if you were the Slovakian coach? "Keep doing what your doing". Your tearing these poor girls spirits to shreds, ease up just a bit! Finally, what do you say if your the referee? "Um, Vladmir? Should, uh, we call this thing or what?" YES! For the love of all that is good in this world stop the game!

My heart goes out to the Bulgarians for this tournament. The women let up 192 goals while scoring one for the whole tournament. The flag that Bulgaria waived proudly (especially for rowing at the olympics) looked more like a surrender flag in this tournament.

There is no good news for this game. There is one positive, though. In 1998 South Korea did beat Thailand 92-0. So Bulgarians GAA was a bit better than that. So i mean, there was something quasi positive about this game. Ok, not really, but I tried

Bulgarian athletics, I know you have many sports you would rather focus on. However, could you put just a tad bit more emphasis on your hockey programs? I have a wonderful colleague in my Communication department from Bulgaria named Nadia, and now I have to bag on her for several days because of this fiasco of a game. So please, for my dear friend Nadia's sake, put some more emphasis on your hockey program so that it won't make national news.

Oh, and Nadia, if your reading this... I promise this is the last story about Bulgaria. Unless they lose this bad again. Even then, i don't think I could stomach writing another column like this...

Mr. Rodgers welcomed to the neighborhood and the Broncos get the Royal treatment

2008-09-09T12:58:00.008-04:00

So all my rowdy friends dropped in on Monday night. They sure made a mess of things. Chips on the floor, beer cans all over the place. Oh, and Hank William's Jr., I got a noise complaint because of you and your damn guitar! However, like any great party, was it worth it? Oh, yeah...

Monday night football featured a double header: Green Bay Packers versus their well known rivals, the Minnesota Vikings. After that, the Denver Broncos traveled to Oakland to face the Raiders with JaMarcus Russell and Darren McFadden. Oh yes, ESPN had the most explosive show (sorry ABC).

The opening game was nothing short of an edge of your seat thrill ride from start to finish as the Packers won 24-19. The Lambeau embraced the young Aaron Rodgers as part of the Packer family after a excellent start. Rodgers went 18 for 22, 1 touchdown, 178 yards, and a 115.5 quarterback rating. Not to shabby Mr. Rodgers, I think many people in Green Bay would love to have you as their neighbor now.

Good blocking, good running from Ryan Grant, and the receiver core helped made Rodgers debut look like an easy one. However, Green Bay will not be doing so well against other teams after 12 penalties for 118 yards combined. Most of which were early on in the game. Note to Green Bay: You want to keep your Quarterback in good spirits? Stop causing stupid penalties. Thankfully for Green Bay, Tarvaris Jackson was unimpressive once again and could not capitalize on Green Bays mistakes.

Nevertheless, celebrate the win Rodgers, you earned it...

Speaking of fantastic performances: many props are due to the Hokies own Eddie Royal for his excellent first start against the Raiders. Straight out of Virginia Tech, Royal had 9 receptions for 146 yards and a touchdown. Thats not all, he rushed, he did a kick return, and he passed the ball (OK, it was incomplete) but, wow! Is there nothing that this guy can't do? I imagine that the fantasy buffs are going to be going nuts to get this young man on their team

Not to undermine the rest of the team. The Broncos demolished the Raiders 41-14 last night. Jay Culter went 16/24 and was finally able to use someone other than Denver's great tight ends. Culter passed for an impressive 299 yards and made the Broncos looked promising. Cutler did not have to rely on the running game too much. This man may finally be into his groove

Still the story of the night has to be the young promising star Eddie Royal playing a magnificent opener. If you know me well enough, you know that I am not really a pro football kind of guy. I love the NFL but I don't root for any team avidly. I tell you what, Eddie Royal will be someone I will be watching for a while now.

So thank you, NFL, for helping me survive another long Monday. I do not have a case of the Mondays anymore, because of you. Once again, football has saved us all... from mid-season baseball.

Special Report: the Brady-less bunch

2008-09-08T16:50:00.000-04:00

Well Jets, Bills, and Dolphins fans silently rejoice as a Mr. Tom Brady is out for the season. Brady tore a ligament in his knee forcing him to hang up his cleats for the season and undergo surgery. So now Favre is back, Pennington is in Miami, the Bills destroyed the Seahawks and now Brady is out for the season. Um, screw the NFC East, but the AFC East is going to be the most fun this season to watch.

So Brady is out, and now newcomer, USC Quarterback Matt Cassel has taken the reigns in New England. Well Patriot fans, this will finally settle the long debate. Is Tom Brady the best QB in the NFL or is the O line for New England really that good? Well, from the looks of things, I'd say that the line was a bit static as the Patriots barely beat the Chiefs 17-10. It will be interesting if Cassel can handle the torch. We all know that Aaron Rodgers has his hands full in Green Bay. However, Cassel may have the best line, great running-back, and top receivers on his side. Oh, darn...

This does raise the question, are the Patriots still favored to win the the AFC East. Well let's take a look at the schedule...

1	KC	W 17-10	13	18	152	72.2	51	1	0	116.0	4	13	3.3	0
2	@NYJ	9/14
3	MIA	9/21
5	@SF	10/5
6	@SD	10/12
7	DEN	10/20
8	STL	10/26
9	@IND	11/2
10	BUF	11/9
11	NYJ	11/13
12	@MIA	11/23
13	PIT	11/30
14	@SEA	12/7
15	@OAK	12/14
16	ARI	12/21

Well, by the looks of it. Um, yeah, they are still my favorite to win the AFC East. However, the Pats @ Jets looks awfully intriguing to watch now. This is not the best scenario for a young quarterback to go through. Now the Pats stare down the legend himself, Brett Favre. First game in the Meadowlands as a Jet, and you know he will be giving his 100% to the game.

Now I know all the Patriot fans feel bad for dear old Tom. I honestly cannot say the same. Sure, I hope Brady gets better and is ready to play next season. But, I mean, Tom Brady and Manny Ramirez are now off the fields in Massachusetts. This season just keeps getting better and better! I don't have to hate Boston as much as I did for the last Eon and a half.

Now, before people get upset and tell me how insensitive I am. Why don't we direct our attention below the text.

Go On...

You can read the rest after you look at the picture, scroll down...

Yes, that is Brazilian bombshell, Giselle. Now, I am not going to be so overly sensitive about a man who is about to play "Naughty Nurse" at the Ritz Carlton all season. "So let me get this straight, I get to hang out with my supermodel girlfriend, go through therapy after my surgery, and not get my head pounded in everyday?" I concur Mr. Brady, that's sounds like a pretty good deal to me too.

So until next time. Goodbye for the season, Tom. We wish you a speedy recovery... On the field or off, your still going to be the ultimate winner....

You Son of a Bitch...

John Nash Lesson #1: Be Humble. People won't know a damn thing about you, but you'll go much further in conversation

2008-09-08T08:42:00.000-04:00

Every Monday, I will have a segment called my "John Nash" lesson. For those who do not know who John Nash is, he was a nobel prize winning mathematician from West Virginia. John Nash created a theory, or a parallel, about modern economics that is still being used to this day. His theory bordered on the concept of: The best result for a group is for everyone to strive for individual ambition, but also striving for what is best for the group. Did I get this concept from A Beautiful Mind? Why yes, yes I did. Nevertheless I want to teach our aspiring youth some ideas that will not only make their lives better, but ours as well. I will make damn sure to leave religion, politics, and health out of this. These are concepts within verbal and nonverbal communication that will be the best for the group, and society. Keep note of these lessons too, I will be referring back to the constantly as my blog continues. So on with lesson 1.

Lesson #1: Be Humble: People won't know a damn thing about you, but you'll go much further in conversation.

This is something that my father is probably the best at. I have seen my father carry on a conversation with someone for hours at a time. After the conversation was over the person felt great about themselves; but when asked, "So what does Steve do for a living?", the response is always, "Um,... you know, I have no idea, but damn he is nice!"

That's the bottom line, we do not always have to one up each other in life. In reality, most people hate being interrupted after a story, or hear someone with what's called a "one-up story". Where the other person story just has to be better.

I tend to lead to the example from Brain Regan, a stand-up comedian, who said along the lines of, "Never tell a story involving getting two wisdom teeth pulled, because the four wisdom teeth people will parachute in and force you to listen to their story." Well, Magellan, please enlighten us of your trips around the world, because apparently our stories aren't worth crap.

In essence, people love to hear themselves talk. They love to tell stories about themselves either about how great they are, or how stupid they were. Most of those people will never change. They want to hear themselves talk, and well, no matter what you do, you won't get a word in edgewise. Deal with it, let them have their "moment of glory", if anything, others will see that you were nice enough to let the Marco Polo's of this world ramble on of how significant they are.

For college students, humbleness parallels with karma in the bar scene. Most of us all know what a wing man is. So if your buddy sees a women he likes, make her think he is the best thing since sliced bread. If the conversation turns back on you, speak your peace and bring the conversation back to the women. They'll appreciate it, your buddy will definitely appreciate it, and more times than not, that kindness will be paid back when you see an attractive girl

We live in a "ME, ME, ME" society. The United States is an individualistic nation striving for excellence for the self. However, when we promote others and not ourselves, that gives the impression of trust to another person. They may not realize what you're doing, Hell, they may not return the favor. However, there is always good around the corner if you put others first.

Lastly, this is not to say that all situations require this approach. If you are in a job interview, you want to convey that your s*** is made of gold. We all want to better ourselves and climb our ladder of success. However, sometimes it doesn't hurt to give that other person a nudge up on their ladder. You never know what doors it may open for you.

John Nash Lessons: For a better...or at least a more tolerable tomorrow.

Hyperbole: The beginning...

2008-09-07T17:49:00.000-04:00

The dictionary that is in the dashboard of my Macbook defines hyperbole as, "exaggerated statements or claims not to be taken literally". As i sat on that definition today I realized that much of my life, excuse me, much of our lives are a hyperbole that we treat as something so serious.

Take politics for example; South Park had the idea spot on. The election will always be about a giant douche or a turd sandwich, they are the only ones that make it far enough into politics. The entire world takes politics entirely too seriously and is personal about it, too. If I am a conservative and you are a liberal, shame on me! what was I thinking? Why in the world can be a conservative? And so on, and so forth...

In all honesty, I could care less about either candidate. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am voting. However, I, just like 90% of the young nation is voting for the wrong reasons. Do you really believe that Obama can? (And if I get a comment saying, yes we can! I will personally make a point to punch you in the stomach) Do you really think McCain has all the answers? The answer, more than likely is no, we're all just voting because we do not want that other rat bastard to get into office.

Oh, I know I am right as well. Want proof? When Obama's wife said, "This is the first time I am proud to be an American" the conservatives jumped down her throat. What about when Sarah Palin's daughter announced that she was 17 and pregnant. Oh, the liberals had a party. Excuse me but, wtf, mate? We don't look at candidates for their great qualities. We just like bashing the other guys.

That's it! I am no longer taking politics seriously, have fun with your arguments. I will be turning my iPod on and ignoring you for the rest of the day. What else?

Self-Imposed nutritionists are ruining my damn life. Don't put salt on that, there's a lot of fat in that sandwich, you are eating too many carbs. No one cares what you heard on the news. I don't care what percent body fat you are. I honestly don't care how many miles you ran today (even though I was in that boat years ago). Actually, no one cares except your other self-imposed health nuts. So go health crazy! Grab your celery sticks, your protein bars, and your fresh squeezed juice; and go talk about how healthy you are to other health nuts. I am going to Jimmy John's, I will do my walks, and if I die early... well, you win, I didn't listen, and quite frankly I am just fine with that. Have your victory dance with your soy protein shake and have a party.

So here is the underlying definition of this blog: Go ahead and flaunt your health, you're a hyperbole. Go ahead and tell me how much more attractive you are than me, you're a hyperbole. Tell me what great shape you in, you're a hyperbole. Tell me why I am stupid for voting for someone you didn't vote for, you're a hyperbole. I am not taking your statements literally, also I am not taking you literally. I am going to teach my classes, do my research, write in this fantastic blog, and laugh at you in the process.

Just remember, Karma is a double-edge sword. If you are cocky and your wrong, it comes back twice as bad. Enjoy your life, be as humble as possible, (we appreciate that) and always remember to laugh as much as you can.