I have always been told from my family that you need to watch out for the "Me Monsters". Let me elaborate, the "Me Monster" is essentially the person at the dinner table that has to "one-up" everyone else's story. See, to the "Me Monster" your story is not worth his/her time. Why? Because his/her story is always more important, and more interesting that yours will ever be. Although, in my lifetime, I have met few great storytellers. Most are overweight and sit at tables at the bar instead of getting some "tail". And to be quite frank, most of these people are overweight because, (A) Food goes great with stories and (B) These people can sit for hours listening to other peoples stories. A good friend of mine, Alec Wagner, mentioned to me that storytellers always listen to other storytellers. They keep the mood light, the group is entertained, and when new people are introduced, a friend could always say, "Tell us that story about..., it's hilarious!" So, for my John Nash Lesson (refer to lesson 1 for description) of the week, I would like to share the secrets of the art and/or science of being an effective storyteller.
The Pre-Story:
Effective stories build off other stories themselves. We tend to want to share experiences related to what the other person was talking about. We all do it, because we like to hear ourselves talk. However, make sure that you do NOT interrupt the speaker beforehand. Remember the cardinal rule: "Storytellers always listen to other storytellers". Be attentive, look at them in the eye, keep the prior story going, the person talking will respect you for that.
Never, and I mean NEVER undermine someone else's story. I have heard the common phrase after something had been said, "That ain't nothing". Well, sorry to waste everyones time here, why don't you embrace us with your adventures around the world, Marco Polo. Seriously, to say that someone else's story ain't nothing is rude and inconsiderate, and if you are at the table, make sure to call that jerk out.
There are instances where the story ended and the "Me Monsters" come out to steal the conversation, and they probably will. They will share their story, and what? Man, that has nothing to do with what I wanted to talk about. Let it go, keep your mind focused at the topic at hand. Nothing is more annoying to retract to the prior conversation. A conversation is a flowing, living thing. Don't stop the current just because you had something to say.
It's My Turn to Talk, Dammit.
So you have broken enemy lines, and now the floor is yours. How do you keep the audience interested, engaged, and wanting more?
First, always acknowledge the predecessor. A simple, "that was hilarious" will do just fine. However, when you are talking about your story, refer back to the other persons story. Use a brief example of the other persons story to relate back to yours. Most of the time, the person telling the last tale will know that you listened to him/her
Prepare for interruptions. We live in an ADD society. If you are at a restaurant or a bar, there is a likelihood that a waiter will come by, or a friend will come see the group, or someone will wont to break off briefly to say something else. If that happens, let it go. No, it is not fair. However, people realize who had the stage. Just take a mental bookmark, and wait for someone to acknowledge your presence on the stage. If they don't, drop the bookmark and let the conversation flow again. It's a hassle, but it makes the other person look like a jerk, and you'll look very modest (refer to lesson #1)
Prepare for the press. When someone tells a story, I am the "Press Guy". I do ask questions, I do want to know what happens before you tell it. I am that annoying movie guy that likes to commentate during the scary scene. Prepare for that, and feed off of it. Do not feel the need to have this prepared comedy routine. Be spontaneous, be inventive, improvise, there may be a bit in the story that could be funnier because a question was asked.
Sit back and relax. Ok, you just told a great story. What now? Well, see where the group goes. If the group wants you to tell another story, try to divert the attention to someone else. If they insist, then go ahead and have round 2 of your stories. However, primarily, you should sit back, and let the next person go. Avoid being the "Me Monster" i've been there, and it's not a pretty scene. Domination of the conversation is annoying and rude. So back off for a bit, enjoy that rum and coke that you have neglected while your story has progressed
The Secrets of the Great Storytellers
There are good storytellers, and then there are great storytellers. How do we differentiate between the two? Well, here are some secrets of the best...
Always recognize the best storytellers. Believe me, you'll know them when you see them. One thing that I have noticed that great storytellers will do is improvise. Many times, we have heard a friend tell a story. The best will throw in some hidden sights and sounds that they didn't use before. That way, the new people get the story, and the people who have heard it before get a new glimpse of what happened. You'll notice that all parties will actually become more interested because of the added details
Like any good movie: characters help. Take a break in your story to describe them, give the mental image of what they look like. That way people can put the puzzle together themselves but have a better understanding of who that person is. It's one thing to say, "My buddy Joe" and it's quite another to say, "Joe is a huge guy, 6'5" weighs 275 pounds, and can crush a mans hand when he shakes it". Be honest about the person (aka don't tell Big Fish stories), but let the audience know who the person is, and some background information.
Lastly, watch for the nonverbal cues. Some stories are not interesting (sorry everyone). If people are looking away, at each other, taking more sips of their drink, breaking eye contact; Your story is NOT interesting. Once again, it's not fair, but nonverbal behavior does not lie. Wrap the story up, and move on, ask a question to someone else and divert the attention away from you. Even the best story tellers run into this problem.
So I hope I helped today, just remember that conversation is a moving thing, do not stop it. Make sure to keep the conversation rolling and keep everyone involved.
Until Next time...
I am always very intrigued by tradition. The overwhelming satisfaction of why certain schools do certain motions and chants has always fascinated me. It had occurred to me that I had no idea why Auburn University said "War Eagle" before each game, and that the eagle swooped onto the field before the opening kickoff. At first, I thought it was another Mascot. Like the Tigers, were also the eagles, were also the plainsmen, I didn't get it. So Mr. Josh DeLung, my colleague and fellow VT blog writer went on our information source, Wikipedia to see what was the origin of this tale. After first glance, I thought it was a joke, but this is directly off the Auburn website...
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