Hyperbole: The beginning...

The dictionary that is in the dashboard of my Macbook defines hyperbole as, "exaggerated statements or claims not to be taken literally". As i sat on that definition today I realized that much of my life, excuse me, much of our lives are a hyperbole that we treat as something so serious. 

Take politics for example; South Park had the idea spot on. The election will always be about a giant douche or a turd sandwich, they are the only ones that make it far enough into politics. The entire world takes politics entirely too seriously and is personal about it, too. If I am a conservative and you are a liberal, shame on me! what was I thinking? Why in the world can be a conservative? And so on, and so forth... 

In all honesty, I could care less about either candidate. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am voting. However, I, just like 90% of the young nation is voting for the wrong reasons. Do you really believe that Obama can? (And if I get a comment saying, yes we can! I will personally make a point to punch you in the stomach) Do you really think McCain has all the answers? The answer, more than likely is no, we're all just voting because we do not want that other rat bastard to get into office.

Oh, I know I am right as well. Want proof? When Obama's wife said, "This is the first time I am proud to be an American" the conservatives jumped down her throat. What about when Sarah Palin's daughter announced that she was 17 and pregnant. Oh, the liberals had a party. Excuse me but, wtf, mate? We don't look at candidates for their great qualities. We just like bashing the other guys. 

That's it! I am no longer taking politics seriously, have fun with your arguments. I will be turning my iPod on and ignoring you for the rest of the day. What else?

Self-Imposed nutritionists are ruining my damn life. Don't put salt on that, there's a lot of fat in that sandwich, you are eating too many carbs. No one cares what you heard on the news. I don't care what percent body fat you are. I honestly don't care how many miles you ran today (even though I was in that boat years ago). Actually, no one cares except your other self-imposed health nuts. So go health crazy! Grab your celery sticks, your protein bars, and your fresh squeezed juice; and go talk about how healthy you are to other health nuts. I am going to Jimmy John's, I will do my walks, and if I die early... well, you win, I didn't listen, and quite frankly I am just fine with that. Have your victory dance with your soy protein shake and have a party.

So here is the underlying definition of this blog: Go ahead and flaunt your health, you're a hyperbole. Go ahead and tell me how much more attractive you are than me, you're a hyperbole. Tell me what great shape you in, you're a hyperbole. Tell me why I am stupid for voting for someone you didn't vote for, you're a hyperbole. I am not taking your statements literally, also I am not taking you literally. I am going to teach my classes, do my research, write in this fantastic blog, and laugh at you in the process. 

Just remember, Karma is a double-edge sword. If you are cocky and your wrong, it comes back twice as bad. Enjoy your life, be as humble as possible, (we appreciate that) and always remember to laugh as much as you can.