Billy's beginning...

Note: If you are confused by this post, look at the post, "Coming soon, to a blog near you..." 

A long time ago, in the plains of Auburn, Alabama. Lived a young man named Jim-Bob Skeeter. Jim-Bob lived a normal life in Auburn. He plowed his fields, milked the cows, had late night dates with his sheep, and had long walks on the manure filled fields of his farm. Jim-Bob was a happy man, he was the first graduate of Auburn University with a Masters in coloring. He was a well respected man for his achievements, however, his ordinary life was about to change. 

As Jim-Bob was plowing the field he noticed a bird flying through the sky with nobility and grace. Jim-Bob immediately grabbed his shotgun and shouted, "It's comin' right fur us!" As he unloaded rounds from his 12 gauge, he finally made contact with the bird. This scene was comparable to Bambi's mother dying... it was very sad, trust me. As the dear eagle spun out into the ground, Jim-Bob walked with confidence as he thought, "Shit yeah, I dun got me some deener". However, he was about to discover something unexpected...

The eagle that was shot, was pregnant...

"SWEET", Jim-Bob said, "I dun got room for deesert now"

Though as Jim-Bob looked at the baby bird, he had a compassion and love for the bird. The bird turned and said...

"Ugh, where am I?" (Yea, I know, talking bird...)

"You're in Auburn, son" Jim-Bob explained

The bird was confused, and could not establish many things that were going on. It was then that he realized that half of his brain had been shot off. Suddenly, despite the rancid smell, the hot weather, and boring scenery, Auburn suddenly seemed like a great place, although he didn't understand why.

"Young feller, you need a name: I will call you, Billy... after the great Billy Jean Thorton."

The eagle didn't know who that was, but it seemed fitting at the time. So there Billy lived, day-by-day on the farm. He helped out as much as he could with Jim-Bob's work. Jim-Bob spoke all day of the joy and wonders of Auburn, and due to the fact that Billy had half of his brain gone, he responded and believed what Jim-Bob told him.

One day, Billy decided to help get a hoe for Jim-Bob (the garden tool, people). As he stepped into the barn, he was shocked in awe. It was one of the most amazing things he had ever seen and it would change his life forever...

Find out what that is in the next episode of: Billy the War Eagle!

Set forth for a journey in the sky!

Watch him soar through the clouds so high!

Soar Billy, The War Eagle!

Soar Billy, the War Eagle!

Hurry, Billy, the time is come!

You must help before it's too late,

Thanks to you, dear old Billy

Drunken Auburn fans can finally Celebrate!

For you old Billy...

John Nash Lesson #3: Stop Pushing Political agenda on the rest of us. You're not persuasive, you're a douche

John Nash Lesson #3: Stop Pushing Political Agenda on the rest of us. You're not persuasive, you're a douche

I didn't want to do it now. I wanted to explain other helpful methods to make our lives better. However, I just cannot take it anymore. Let me begin this John Nash by introducing a story...

I was sitting at a bonfire the other night, and amongst many heated debates, which is great, but there became the discussion about the election. I didn't have my iPod with me, so unfortunately,  I had to listen to the Palin haters. At one instance someone stated, "I just can't see any rationale behind voting for McCain". Others agreed and then asked me who I was voting for, like I didn't know the correct answer to this question...

I am all about politics, but the question, "Who are you voting for" has become the worst "true-false" question in the world. There is simply no right answer. Sure, I could apply methods of group-think and said that I am voting for Obama. Well is there individuality in that? Do I really support Obama? So what if I said, "I am voting for McCain"? I guarantee you I would be bombarded with misleading statements and questions undermining my decision and the person who I was voting for. Well, screw that, I don't like confrontation about this issue. So what if I said, "I am not voting".

Oh then I would have just opened up Pandora's box with that loaded statement. "You have to vote, it's an american right." or "Don't you know what your doing to the world by not voting"? Yes, but the main thing is this... pay attention... People (with one exception) want people to vote for the candidate that they want. They have no interest in you actually voting as a right, they just want you to vote for their candidate. If I would have said, "I am voting for McCain" then I would have been swarmed with condescending questions and comments. That, my friends, is your proof. If you are not voting for their candidate, people around you could care less about voting.

My colleague and good friend of mine, Alex Bea may have saved my vote this year. In all actuality, I vote on principle. I don't care what dumb thing a candidate said, I don't care about race, or sex, or age, it's irrelevant. I am voting because I want my values to be upheld by the person in office. Now, Alex made an excellent comment about how we do not have a complaint if we do not cast a vote. Which is true, if i complain about the president, and I don't vote, I have no voice. However, the difference in Alex vs. about 98% of the population is that I have never seen eye-to-eye with my colleague. However, he has never attacked my values, never said my reasoning was dumb, and never questioned who I voted for. He has been up for debate and was open-ended about the choice I made. That is a real relief

Heaven forbid you say, "I am unsure who I'm voting for". Then the political nazi's will parachute from the skies with pamphlets and buttons, and then explain how great their candidate is. You know what? Get that out of our face, If someone wants to vote and is receptive to your call, then that's fine. However, if someone says they are unsure and does not want to hear pitches, then respect it, and change the topic.

So there is a lesson for people. Don't tell me who to vote for, and honestly, don't make you political views so transparent that people will not want to participate. We all have strong opinions about certain things. However, if we express those strong opinions right off the bat, an introverted person will have no reason to speak up. Who knows? that introvert may have had something really interesting and eclectic, and now they never had that chance to speak up. If you do this, and don't allow others to openly express their political beliefs, you are, and forever will be, a douche.

In essence, shut up about what you saw on YouTube, or the really good point you saw on CNN or Fox News. Get your information from a variety of sources and never just trust one (believe me). Keep your mind open about different things in life. If you are not willing to do that, then you are cutting off the communication process, and that is disrespectful to others. Be respectful of the voting process. It is a wonderful right. The right to vote for whom ever YOU choose. 

John Nash lessons, helping for a better... or at least more tolerable tomorrow...

The Hyperbole is back!

To my loyal readers. I know that I have been not been blogging in recent days. Due to my last trip to Georgia (which was TOTALLY worth it) I have been behind on school. However, I got a load of work done this week and I am ahead of the game. So therefore, Life as a Hyperbole will be back on it's regularly scheduled time with John Nash lessons, top 30 movies, making fun of people, and of course, explaining how great Bama and VT are in football. That's all ahead, and I appreciate you thanks, applause, and free stuff is always appreciated. So welcome back Hyperbole, we missed you...