Monday, September 8, 2008

John Nash Lesson #1: Be Humble. People won't know a damn thing about you, but you'll go much further in conversation

Every Monday, I will have a segment called my "John Nash" lesson. For those who do not know who John Nash is, he was a nobel prize winning mathematician from West Virginia. John Nash created a theory, or a parallel, about modern economics that is still being used to this day. His theory bordered on the concept of: The best result for a group is for everyone to strive for individual ambition, but also striving for what is best for the group. Did I get this concept from A Beautiful Mind? Why yes, yes I did. Nevertheless I want to teach our aspiring youth some ideas that will not only make their lives better, but ours as well. I will make damn sure to leave religion, politics, and health out of this. These are concepts within verbal and nonverbal communication that will be the best for the group, and society. Keep note of these lessons too, I will be referring back to the constantly as my blog continues. So on with lesson 1.

Lesson #1: Be Humble: People won't know a damn thing about you, but you'll go much further in conversation. 

This is something that my father is probably the best at. I have seen my father carry on a conversation with someone for hours at a time. After the conversation was over the person felt great about themselves; but when asked, "So what does Steve do for a living?", the response is always, "Um,... you know, I have no idea, but damn he is nice!"

That's the bottom line, we do not always have to one up each other in life. In reality, most people hate being interrupted after a story, or hear someone with what's called a "one-up story". Where the other person story just has to be better. 

I tend to lead to the example from Brain Regan, a stand-up comedian, who said along the lines of, "Never tell a story involving getting two wisdom teeth pulled, because the four wisdom teeth people will parachute in and force you to listen to their story." Well, Magellan, please enlighten us of your trips around the world, because apparently our stories aren't worth crap.

In essence, people love to hear themselves talk. They love to tell stories about themselves either about how great they are, or how stupid they were. Most of those people will never change. They want to hear themselves talk, and well, no matter what you do, you won't get a word in edgewise. Deal with it, let them have their "moment of glory", if anything, others will see that you were nice enough to let the Marco Polo's of this world ramble on of how significant they are.

For college students, humbleness parallels with karma in the bar scene. Most of us all know what a wing man is. So if your buddy sees a women he likes, make her think he is the best thing since sliced bread. If the conversation turns back on you, speak your peace and bring the conversation back to the women. They'll appreciate it, your buddy will definitely appreciate it, and more times than not, that kindness will be paid back when you see an attractive girl

We live in a "ME, ME, ME" society. The United States is an individualistic nation striving for excellence for the self. However, when we promote others and not ourselves, that gives the impression of trust to another person. They may not realize what you're doing, Hell, they may not return the favor. However, there is always good around the corner if you put others first.

Lastly, this is not to say that all situations require this approach. If you are in a job interview, you want to convey that your s*** is made of gold. We all want to better ourselves and climb our ladder of success. However, sometimes it doesn't hurt to give that other person a nudge up on their ladder. You never know what doors it may open for you.

John Nash Lessons: For a better...or at least a more tolerable tomorrow.


1 comment:

Kevin A. Sam said...

You have some good thoughts about humility and life. Thanks.